The Twelve Steps of ACA are adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous to address the specific effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home. The most notable difference is in Step 1, which acknowledges powerlessness over the effects of alcoholism or family dysfunction rather than alcohol itself.
Here are the Twelve Steps of ACA:
- We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
In ACA, “God” is used as a convenient placeholder term for a “Higher Power”—a power greater than oneself.
The program is spiritual, not religious. This distinction is crucial because many adult children have experienced religious trauma or abuse, making traditional concepts of God difficult or triggering.
“God as we understood God”
This phrase from Step 3 allows you total freedom to define this power for yourself. It does not demand you believe in a specific deity or follow any religious dogma.
Common examples of a Higher Power in ACA include:
- The Group: Relying on the collective wisdom and support of the meetings (often called G.O.D. = Group Of Drunks/Dysfunctionals).
- Nature/Universe: Finding spiritual connection in the natural world or cosmic order.
- Love/Service: Believing in the power of unconditional love or helping others.
- Your Future Self: Connecting to a healed, integrated version of yourself.
- Traditional Deity: Many members do use their religious faith, but it is not a requirement.
The only essential concept is that you are not the most powerful force in the universe and that you can turn to something outside your own ego to help restore you to sanity.